As I did last year, I eschewed parties and balloons and streamers and all that floof in favour of pestering him ceaselessly. And I have to say: while it was no Frost/Nixon, interviewing an almost-four-year-old is fully 73% easier than interviewing an almost-three-year-old.
Here’s how it went down last year:
- I asked the questions over several days, sometimes repeating them at different times to “test” his answers.
- Two of the questions never got answered.
- Frustration/boredom was also signaled by the following: staring at the ceiling, asking for a snack, yelling LA-LA-LA
- He walked out on me twice.
This year he answered every question I asked (including some I hadn’t asked yet!).
His answers, and my obtuse observations, below.
Interview with Seve, (nearly) age four
(week of Sept. 23, 2013)
1. What is your favourite colour?
(According to the nail polish on his toes, yes.)
2. What is your favourite toy?
Um … fire trucks. They have lots of equipment.
3. What is your favourite fruit?
Well, I like purple grapes. Purple grapes are yummier.
(Judging by the number of raisinesque purple grapes we just transferred from the fridge to the green bin, this is a complete fabrication.)
4. What is your favourite TV show?
Toopy and Binoo Vroom Vroom Zoom.
(Among kids’ television, this is totally accurate. But he’s also a fan of kid-friendly programming on Discovery, which prompted a follow-up question …)
4A. What is your favourite TV show on Discovery?
The car-smashing show.
(That describes more than one program, pretty sure. I’m going to guess he means Last Car Standing.)
5. What is your favourite food to eat for lunch?
Macaroni and cheese.
6. What are your favourite clothes to wear?
The hot dog shirt is my favourite shirt.
(Yes, he owns one. Phew.)
7. What is your favourite game to play?
I like Lego.
8. What is your favourite snack?
Goldfish crackers. And honeydew melon.
9. What is your favourite animal?
Um … tigers. And my favourite drink is almond milk. And plain milk.
10. What is your favourite song?
The Jolly Friends. That’s my favourite song.
(The song is “See See My Playmate” and he knows it from a weird CD titled “Jolly Friends” that we picked up somewhere — baby shower? birthday party? CD Fairy? — and that, despite it being an irredeemably annoying vanity project, he love-love-loves.)
11. What is your favourite book?
(Oh, Beaster. Mine too.)
12. Who do you like to play with?
Well, Reveen and Batoto are camping right now. The table makes a bed.
(Reveen and Batoto are the names of two imaginary friends, corresponding to his left and right hands. We’re working on making non-imaginary friends.)
13. What is your favourite food to eat for dinner?
Cheese bites and hot dogs and ketchup. And my favourite breakfast is oatmeal and some blueberry raisins and some cherries.
(Cheese bites are grilled cheese sandwiches, cut into small pieces. And we do occasionally have breakfast for dinner, but not as frequently as this answer suggests.)
14. What is your favourite thing to do outside?
Play lots of things.
15. What is your favourite thing to drink?
16. Where is your favourite place to go?
Well, we’ve got to go to the grocery store to pick up some vegetables. And then we’re going to stir them up and make a salad.
(He said “grocery store” last year, too, but only after he mentioned “toy store.” Follow-up time!)
16A. Is the grocery store your favourite place to go?
Well, Grandma and Grampa’s house is a good place to go.
17. What do you like to do before bed?
18. What is your favourite breakfast?
(Screw you, oatmeal and some blueberry raisins and some cherries!)
19. What do you want for your birthday?
(When it’s 3:55 AM on the day of his birthday and I am still awake trying to cobble together a police bus from whatever Lego pieces we’ve got left over, I’ll think back on this answer and then I’ll go put on a pair of Sorels THAT I MIGHT BETTER KICK MYSELF.)
19A. What would you like for a present?
A police bus.
20. What do you want to do or be when you’re big?
A good idea is to go to work when I’m like my daddy.
They’d be lucky to have you, Beaster. So, so lucky. As are we.